It's been months.
Thoughts of you don't make me cry on the spot anymore, but they still make me cry. I am able to gather my strength and go through things like training without being affected, but you still make me weak. Being around people doesn't bother me anymore as much as it did in the beginning cause I only wanted to be around you, but I rather be alone and sometimes I can't wait to be alone. I don't talk about you in the sad pathetic way and ask people what I did wrong and stuff, instead I talk about the things that I did, you did, we did that made me happy to make the hurt within seem lesser. I don't want to listen to songs that remind me of you, but my playlist is made up of them. I don't like to go out because I might bump into you, but when I'm out I hope to see you.
So contradicting. So stupid.
I'm fooling myself.